Put a Fork in the Giants

I guess you just can’t start 0-6 and expect to make the playoffs.

I guess you can’t suffer injuries to your entire O-line and expect to make the playoffs.

I guess you can’t turn the ball over a trillion times and expect to make the playoffs.

Say good-bye to 2013.

Bring on 2014.

– Brett Alan Bern

The Fall of Facebook

brett-bern-facebookThis is the beginning of the end of Facebook.

It may not fall in a week, a month, or even a year.

But it is indeed going down.

Too much hatred for the company.

Too many inactive accounts.

Too many people don’t trust them AT ALL.

Too many issues with their IPO.

My kids no longer think Facebook is cool.

And that’s a huge issue.

My Space…meet Facebook.

I salute you NHL!

nhl alan bernI salute you NHL…

– For keeping steroids out of your game (mostly).

– For having the best dang playoff excitement than any other sport.

– For game sevens.

– For handshakes after a series.

– For taking player safety seriously.

– For giving us The Great One.

– For the 94 Rangers.

– For limiting fighting (compared to the 70’s anyway).

Brett Alan Bern


Happy Birthday Jack Nicholson

happy birthday brett bernHappy birthday Jack. And thank you.

Thank you for George Hanson.

Thank you for Jake Gittes.

Thank you for Bobby Dupea (my personal favorite)

Thank you for Randle McMurphy.

Thank you for Jack Torrance.

Thank you for Melvin Udall.

Thank you for Nathan Jessup.

It’s been quite a ride Jack.

Thanks for your gift.

Brett Bern

Tanning in March

Yes, I believe we are in deep doo-doo when it comes to the climate.

And no, not simply because we’ve had an unbelievably warm winter where it snowed…once.

And no, not simply because it’s been in the 70’s almost the entire month of march.

An no, not simply because of all of the crazy weather events happening all over the world.

But you put all of those together, and it makes me believe.

Listen, I hope I’m wrong. I hope it is indeed just a cycle.

But if I’m right, we’re all in trouble, because not enough is being done to prevent it.

But if the “deniers” are wrong, god help us all.

– Brett Alan Bern

Brett Bern says GET OUT

brett bern warA helicopter crash kills 14.

A stressed out soldier kilss 19 (including women and children).

We are caught burning the Koran.

Some of our finest are filmed urinating on corpses.

What the hell is going on here?

Can somebody give Brett Bern one reason why we should still be in Afghanistan and Iraq?


Didn’t think so.

Bring them home. Let’s take care of our own.

Brett Bern

Game On? More like game over!

This has got to be one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. I was hoping it was just a spoof, but alas, it’s the real deal.

It’s white Christians saying that Rick Santorum (the one that hates gays and women’s rights) is the man to lead our country.

No seriously.

My favorite line? “We have a man who understands that God gave us a Bill of Rights.”

Really? God gave it to us. I need to take a history class, because I could have sworn it was our government.

What a bunch of delusional [fill in the blank yourself].

– Brett Alan Bern

Romney and Trees

Ok…by far the most bizarre comment I have ever heard from a presidential candidate. He likes the height of the trees in Michigan?? What the hell does that even mean???

When this is all said and done, Romney will be able to write about on the wrong things to say during an election.

What a strange guy.

Is Rick Santorum running for President or Pope?

brett alan bern santorumI simply do not understand what Rick Santorum is doing.

Does he not know there is supposed to be a separation of church and state in this country?

Why is he spewing the bible every chance he gets?

And more importantly, how is he winning?

Has the right gotten so far off their rockers that they would nominate somebody who has absolutely no chance in hell in winning the general election?

Politically confused,

Brett Alan Bern

Brett Alan Bern Weekly Rant – 4

brett alan bernHere’s what angered Brett Alan Bern this week:

– The focus on contraception when it should be about JOBS.

– Gary Carter passing away. Only the good die young.

– Anything that comes out of the bigoted mouth of Rick Santorum.

– The media’s continued celebrity obsession.

– Governor Christie promising to veto the same-sex marriage bill. It’s 2012 Chris!

– All Reality TV.

– The gluten-free craze.

– Any sentence that includes the word Kardashian.

– My Verizon wireless dial up speed.